Fine, I will "temporarily" be your friend!
by Shinigami's Soul
Summary: Wufei's bad luck strikes when Duo, Quatre and Heero pay a visit to him. Only that some Chinese ambassadors are dropping by as well! And they're ALL staying for the week. Uh...what could go wrong? R&R!


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Author's Note: This is my first Gundam fic. ...I just wanna say...this show is awesome! But it is not awesome enough to be my fave anime...enough said. Anyhow, Enjoy! ^_^ I hope you like it!

Fine, I will "Temporarily" be your friend!

Wufei was happy. *gasp* I know, I know. He was expecting a few honorable people from China to be stopping by today. They were ambassadors Ying and Yang, who were going to honor Wufei for letting them stay at his home. Wufei booked a few thousand rooms at a hotel, and paid them extra to all vacate and pretend this is his hotel. They did so, Wufei was happy. *gasp* Okay, quit with it!

"Everything is going perfectly..." Wufei smirked. Just then, someone knocked on the door. Wufei grinned, "They're here!!" He ran to open the door. He bowed down, enough to glance at yellow running shoes, brown shoes and dark blue boots. "Welcome honorable Ying, Yang and his-"

"Glad you feel that way, Wufei!" Grinned the man with dark blue boots. He shoved Wufei out of the way. He gasped when he saw Duo walking into his spotless hotel room. Wufei gasped, "Hell has knocked on my door!"

"I'm speechless! The great Shinigami has spoken!" Duo grinned.

Quatre and Heero walked in. "Hi Wu-"

"Shut up, Quatre!!" Wufei grumbled.

"...He really needs to channel his anger." Quatre muttered.

Heero stared at Quatre, and sighed. He smiled at Wufei, "Hello Wufei."

"Who invited you to enter my spotless domain?!" Wufei snapped.

"...No one really." Quatre smiled. "Actually it was Duo's idea to pay our friend a visit."

"...Friend?" Wufei gawked. "...Oh, that's supposed to be me? _I'm _your friend? ...Oh I _am!_"

"Okay, well...Wufei, can you get our bags, they're outside." Duo asked.

Wufei grumbled as he stormed to get the bags outside. He gawked when he saw the hallway stuffed with luggages from top to bottom. And on the other side, Wufei could hear muffled sounds. He gasped, "Ying, Yang!"

"Wufei? Is that you?" Ying muttered. "Release us at once!"

"Yes, sir." Wufei bowed down.

"I'm a girl, you moron!" Ying hollered.

Wufei sweat-dropped.

Duo, Quatre and Heero popped outside and gawked. Quatre mumbled, "I knew I should'nt've packed those extra million anger crystals..."

Heero sighed. "So Wufei...where's lunch?"

"Uh..." Wufei snapped. "Servants, release honorable Ying and Yang from the luggages NOW!"

"Servants?" Heero asked. I-"

"Shh, shh, shh!" Wufei shoved them inside. "Honorable Ying and Yang are out there. They'll be staying for the week, that's why I want you guys to be servants until they're gone! You see, they think I have servants, but I don't. So you guys will be playing servants, until they leave. Plus, they think I own the whole hotel. But I don't, so you guys have to promise not to tell ANYONE!"

"...Can you repeat that again...please?" Quatre asked, innocently.

Wufei grumbled. "JUST CLEAR THE HALL!"

****************2 hours later****************

The 3 boys were collapsed in the hallway. Wufei came outside and sighed, "You know, for 3 guys who wear the exact same thing day after day, you sure packed a lot of clothes. Are you sure you're gonna wear them?"

"Shut up..." Duo sighed. He got up and walked into the hotel room. 

Quatre got up too, and walked inside. Heero followed except he stopped at Wufei and asked, "...Where was lunch?"

Wufei grumbled.

*******************

Wufei was talking to Ying and Yang in the main room. Duo, Heero and Quatre walked into the kitchen angrily. They were dressed in kinos, those traditional Chinese outfits. They walked in single file which was Wufei's orders.

Yang smiled, "Look at them, they are so cute, ne?"

"How do you know Japanese?" Wufei asked.

"He's been taking private classes." Ying replied.

"Oh." Wufei smiled.

Ying looked at the 3 pilots in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards for something to eat. Ying stuttered, "So you always let your servants go through your kitchen?"

"Uh...no." Wufei mumbled. "Heero, Duo, Quatre! Get out!"

They didn't listen to him. Instead, they all sat down on the floor and started to eat a cake that they found in the freezer.

Ying and Yang walked into the kitchen, with Wufei shortly behind them. Yang sighed, "Hi-"

"No." Duo said.

"What is it?" Yang asked.

"No, you can't have any. It's mine, I'm starved." Duo replied. 

"Hmm..." Ying whispered to Wufei. "I thought that she was a girl. The one with the braid."

"Oh..." Wufei snickered. "Of course she is! She just likes to act like a boy most of the time."

"Well an un-groomed braid is not suitable for a girl." Yang snapped. He grabbed Duo off the floor and into the bathroom. 

"What?" Duo gawked. "Cake, no! I want the cake! You can't take me away from it!"

"One second, little girl-"

"Girl?!"

"We need to do your hair, make-up and others." Yang smiled.

"Oh, I'll come too." Ying grinned, following them. Wufei followed.

Quatre looked at Heero. He sniffed, "You don't think they're torturing him in there, do you?"

"Nah..." Heero muttered, grabbing Duo's cake. "Shinigami? No way. He's probably...trying to escape as we speak."

Quatre rushed up to the door and peeked in. He saw Duo staring into the mirror, while Yang was becoming furious. He was holding a razor in his hand. Quatre gasped, "NO!!"

"Injustice!" Wufei snapped. "Move, weakling! We're about to watch the defeat of the great Shinigami!"

"I am NOT cutting my hair." Duo disagreed simply.

"Wufei, I thought you said she was a girl." Ying asked.

"She is!" Wufei snapped.

"Well, why won't she cut her hair. And why does she keep claiming she's an engineer?" Ying asked again.

"...Girls. Always weak...weak onnas..." He grinned, nervously. "Uh, enough Yang! The girl does not want her hair cut. You can not be dishonorable and dishonor the ancients and ancestors by going against someone's will!"

Yang sighed. "You are right, Wufei." They all walked out of the bathroom. Duo stared into the mirror. He glared at Wufei, "The great Shinigami did not need your help...this time..."

************Lunch************

"Let us eat orderly." Ying smiled. Everyone bowed down and ate their food. Quatre, Duo and Heero got up and went to sit at a table, while Ying, Yang and Wufei kneeled on the floor.

Yang grumbled, "You DARE dishonor the code!"

"...What? I have bad knees." Heero replied.

"HOW DARE-"

"Enough!" Quatre snapped. He gave them each a crystal. "Take them and focus all your negative energy into it."

"Quiet, boy!" Yang snapped again.

"You can not dishonor your ancestors and go against one of your own." Quatre snapped back. "The ancients are ashamed to watch over you. They call you a disgrace for arguing with your brothers and sisters. I should know!"

Yang sighed. "Forgive me..." He walked back to sit on the floor.

"How did you know all that?" Heero whispered. 

"...TV." Quatre replied.

Duo pushed the food away from him, went into the fridge and pulled out the remainder of the cake. "This is real food. Take advantage while you still can."

***************After lunch***************

"Now, for our annual concentration sessions." Ying bowed down, smiling. "Everyone, repeat after me..."

Yang and Wufei bowed too.

Ying continued, "...The ancestors watch over us..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"

"...A-And...the-"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Would you please shut up?!" Yang snapped. He glared at Heero, Quatre and Duo laughing hysterically at the TV screen.

"But it's the best part of the show!" Duo said.

"It's hysterical!" Heero laughed.

"...But..." Quatre began. "They're just walking...crawling, now that's quality stuff!" 

They all burst out in argument.

"Guys!" Quatre snapped. "Don't you see? Our average lives are being taken over by a box full of wires a.k.a. The TV...you can't let that happen!"

"...Quatre, it's only a TV. Don't take it so seriously." Duo sighed.

"Oh yeah?" Quatre smirked. "The best part of the show, is the flower meadow!"

"NO WAY!!!" Heero cried. "It can't be true!!"

"NO!" Duo snapped. "It's not! The best part of the show is the walking!"

"Crawling and the flower meadow." Quatre mumbled.

"No, I disagree with both you low-lives! It has to be...the part when the guy is sleeping! That's a fine work of art!" Heero said.

"You've got it all wrong!" Duo argued. Just then, he and Heero burst out in argument.

Quatre snapped, "See!? You guys are losing it over a stupid show about some 3 guys who eat sleep and walk!"

Duo and Heero sweat-dropped.

"Uh, servants..." Wufei muttered. "I need a favor..."

"What is it?" Heero asked.

"...Well, Ying and Yang want to go somewhere, but...we don't have any drivers, so...uh..." Wufei muttered. "Could one of you drive instead?" Quatre sniffed. Wufei asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm only 15...you moron." Quatre said. "I can't drive."

"And neither can we." Duo sighed.

"Oh!" Wufei snapped. "Weak onnas! You pilot a Gundam yet you can not drive!"

"Well...Can you drive?" Heero asked.

Wufei didn't say anything.

"Ah, there you go!" Duo snapped.

"Well...I kind of said you were...old enough to...drive..." Wufei stammered.

"How old?" Heero asked.

"...21-"

"WUFEI, YOU MORON!!" They all snapped.

"It'll only be for awhile!" Wufei reasoned. "Please?"

"Wufei, what if we crash?!" Quatre snapped. "O-Or we drive into an oil spill?...Or we happen to collide with another car? Or run a red light? ...Or aren't tall enough to see the front window? Or...if we-"

"Quatre!" Wufei snapped. "...Okay, maybe you're right! I'll call in some fake servants and claim them as my other servants that Ying and Yang haven't met." He rushed to the phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Chuckie's cheap servants? Yeah, I need one who can drive NOW!...Yes, that big hotel...right now, thank you!" He hung up the phone as he muttered, "Weaklings..."

*****************Later on when the servant arrived****************

"This is coleslaw!" Wufei sighed, pointing to the servant. "He specializes, in driving! And that's where we'll be headed!"

"Why?" Ying asked.

"Because you wanted to go!" Wufei smiled.

"...When did we say that?" Yang laughed. He slapped Wufei on the back, "Wufei, you have some sort of imagination!"

Wufei grumbled. He had had it up to here (wherever here is) with Ying and Yang. You talk about honor, and they do the exact opposite, yet they're ambassadors, so Wufei couldn't just tell them to leave. "SERVANTS!"

"Yeah-yus?" Coleslaw asked.

"Ugh! Stupid fool, be gone from my domain!" Wufei kicked coleslaw out. "SERVANTS!!" He hollered again.

"...Is he talking to us?" Quatre asked. "I wanna go home. These clothes are itchy and he won't let us raid the kitchen anymore!"

"It's horrible, I know." Heero sighed.

"...Hey you guys, remember when he said that...we shouldn't tell Ying or Yang that we aren't servants and that he doesn't own this place?" Duo asked. "Well we just have to tell them and this whole thing will be over! Plus, we'll be free to raid Wufei's kitchen once more!"

"YES!" Heero grinned. "Come on, we just have to find Ying and Yang and-"

"Wait!" Quatre snapped. "...Wufei's our friend. We can't just...spoil everything for him...c-can we?"

"...Yes." Duo replied.

"Okay, forget what I said!" Quatre grinned. "Let's go!"

****************With Ying and Yang**********************

"Uh...hello?" Quatre asked peering through the doorway. "Ying? Yang?-"

"That's honorable Yang to you, servant boy!" Yang snapped.

"I'm a pilot, you moron." Quatre muttered, angrily.

"What did you call me?!" Yang snapped again.

"Nothing...Uh...Listen, Wufei was lying!" Quatre explained. "We aren't servants! We're pilots! We pilot Gundams and...Wufei's a poor man."

"What?" Ying laughed. "What a tall tale!" 

"Yes, indeed!" Yang laughed.

"Believe me!!" Quatre hollered. "It's true! He doesn't own this hotel!"

"Servants..." Ying muttered. "Believe the boy, Yang. We will ask Wufei. He will tell us the truth."

"No problem." Quatre ran out of the room. He ran up to Heero and Duo. He grinned, "The kitchen is ours!"

"Yes!!" Duo grinned.

Just then, Wufei was being chased out of the room by Yang, who was yelling, "Tell us the truth, you dishonorable fool!"

"Injustice! Who told you those...weak comments of my...wealth! I own this whole county and the 5 Gundams...heh heh..." Wufei hollered, panicking. "Who told-..." He gasped, "DUO! QUATRE! HEERO!!"

"...Yes, master?" Heero asked.

"Save me!!" Wufei snapped.

"...Can we have your kitchen?" Duo hollered.

"YES!!" Wufei snapped again.

"Now tell Yang and Ying the truth!" Heero shouted.

"I'm poor! I don't own the hotel! I have no servants!" Wufei hollered. "Now pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!"

"...No." They agreed.

"AAAAAHHHH!!!" Wufei panicked jumping out the nearest window. Suddenly a splash was heard. You'd like to think he landed in the pool...but- "MANURE!!!" Wufei snapped. "I landed in a MANURE pile! HELP ME!!!"

Quatre, Duo and Heero walked to the kitchen, stuffed all the food Wufei had in a few hundred bags, and left. So that was a typical day- a typically weird day at Wufei's apartment. Of course, now he doesn't own an apartment and has adapted to manure very nicely. The hotel manager kicked him out and MADE him live...in manure. While Quatre, Duo and Heero...are stuffing their fat faces...with cake.  
...thank you...

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Pleeez tell me how ya like it! It was my first Gundam Wing fic, and I think it was pretty okay. Please review, tell me what you think. 


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